Gearing Up to raise our pre-seed round

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1.59K viewsFebruary 21, 2022Funding Startupsfeedback pitch pitch deck preseed

5

Ricky Shepherd II 106 November 2, 2021 2 Comments

Got some feedback from 2 angels on our pitch deck would love to get some advice on how to tackle this wording problem

Paul O'Brien Changed status to publish February 21, 2022

ethan Mayers commented November 2, 2021

happy to help. what is the question?

John Zozzaro commented November 2, 2021

Also happy to help!

Ricky Shepherd II commented November 2, 2021

Thanks, Ethan and John I’ve added the investor notes, and link to my deck. Feel free to comment below, or message my inbox if this thread gets lengthy.

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Thanks, Ethan and John I’ve added the investor notes, and link to my deck. Feel free to comment below, or message my inbox if this thread gets lengthy.

score 1 · Answer 1 · 2021-11-09T16:44:32+00:00

OMG Paul, I love your response and wanted to start with “Why” all along!! When I first started our deck, a neighbor gave me Simon Sinek’s book and I read it. I originally started with why, but went against my gut and changed it.

I agree the verbiage needs to change. Innovators and early adopters get it, but like an investor once said “explain it like I’m your mother or an 8th grader or I don’t get it. Your advice has been extremely helpful and puts things in the right perspective. Thanks for your help. I’ll reach out to Joerg

Our why btw: PNDORAS BOX is a virtual environment, a metaverse experience challenging the status quo by inspiring people to see the world differently while thinking outside the box